文 / 阿孚
How I Met Your Mother是世界上最棒、最幽默、最有梗的美國影集，編劇和導演很敢嘗試各式各樣的實驗手法或題材，第九季11集的主題是 “Bedtime Stories"，竟然和我最愛的童書搭上線了！影集中使用大量童書中的元素、連開頭的進場配樂也變成了寶寶搖籃曲版本。
On Saturday at 5pm, 25 hours before the wedding, Marshall and his son are taking the bus in the final leg of their journey to Farhampton. In an effort to get Marvin to sleep, Marshall constantly uses rhymes (the entire episode is worded with rhymes), and begins telling stories of his friends.
The first story concerns Ted while he was still a professor. Lisa, a young physics professor, introduces herself to Ted and asks him out to dinner to learn more about his inspiring lectures. Ted is at first excited, but then wonders if Lisa will view the dinner as a date or as just a meeting between coworkers. Throughout the dinner, Ted receives mixed signals on whether it is a date or not, and Lisa eventually reveals she had once dated a New York Yankees player. Ted is so intrigued he urges her to tell who; she reveals him to be Derek Jeter, but when Lisa shows her a picture, Ted is annoyed to find out it is actually Barney.
The next story begins with Robin having recently broken up with one of her ex-boyfriends (Marshall is unable to remember who), and is unashamedly shoveling down sweets at a bakery. She then runs into Simon and is surprised to see he is more clean-shaven and professional than before, but quickly becomes dejected when he reveals he’s engaged to be married. In anger, Robin steals Simon’s wedding cake and begins eating it at Ted’s apartment, much to Ted’s scolding and bewilderment. When Robin has finished nearly half the cake, Lily arrives, and Robin feels remorse for her actions and decides to stop. Lily, however, convinces Robin to be strong and finish the cake. Her struggle to finish soon draws others to the apartment to cheer her on, including Barney who brings a keg of beer. She eventually finishes, then proceeds to do a keg stand (Marshall adds that afterwards they had to get her stomach pumped).
The final story has the gang at McClaren’s, where Barney has his sights set on a girl who just walked in to the bar. Lily says the girl is out of Barney’s league, but Barney claims no girl is unworthy as he is the “Player King of New York City.” Barney relates a story of how he was called before the High Council of Players, a group consisting of differing social backgrounds that each have certain territorial reign over girls to hook up with in New York City (the members are all played by Neil Patrick Harris). Barney is accused of hooking up with a girl outside his territory, and to rectify this, he must offer Robin and Lily to two other members. Barney agrees, then offers a toast of champagne to everyone. They all drink except Barney, who reveals he had poisoned the drink, and laughs as the other members die. In the present, the others sarcastically applaud Barney’s story, but reveal Ted to be making out with the girl, leaving Barney annoyed and jealous.
Marshall nearly gets Marvin to sleep when the bus suffers a flat tire, and Marshall and the other riders step outside to view a fireworks display. Marshall tells Marvin he will be with his mother soon, but dreads the impending fallout he would face from Lily finding out about his judgeship. Marshall hopes Marvin is too young to remember the day’s events, but Future Ted remarks the fireworks would be the first memory Marvin would remember. Gus, another passenger on the bus, informs Marshall that the Farhampton Inn is only five miles away, and Marshall decides to walk there, a decision Future Ted explains Marshall would later regret.